Feminism and Men

It's no secret that I'm a feminist. It's also no secret that feminists get blamed for a lot of societal ills, including ruining the nuclear family/men's lives/Western civilization as we know it.

So I wanted to write a short post about what being feminist means for how I treat the men in my life. Pride goes before a fall, so-- I'm not perfect. But I can't imagine any situation in which these things would not be true, so I will use the word "never."

The words "man up" will never come out of my mouth. They will never come out of my brain. I will never tell anyone to "take it like a man" or criticize a man for feeling pain.

I will never disparage a man for showing emotion.

I will never say real men don't cry.

I will never say real men anything.

I will never criticize a man for failing to conform to masculine norms. I will never question the masculinity of anyone who likes to knit, cook, read, go to the opera, not play sports, etc. I will never question the masculinity of anyone.

I will never expect a man to treat me like a princess.

I will never expect a man to pay for my dinner, buy me expensive presents, or tell me I am always right.

I will never assume men always want sex. I will never believe or say that men cannot be raped. I will never believe, imply or act like men don't have bodily autonomy.

I will never expect a man to support me financially.

I will never leap on a chair and shriek for a man to come kill something for me.

I will never say or think that men are stupid, unemotional, or Neanderthals.

I will never assume that a man will make a bad parent, that a man is unable to relate to children, that he has no desire to relate to children, or that he has any less of a right and need to a deep and fulfilling bond with his children than does a woman.

I will never treat a man as if what's between his legs is more important than what's in his head.

I think anything less would be disrespectful of my fellow human beings who happen to be men. (Also, I have more fun. Life is so much better when you don't put people in boxes.)

P.S. Why is the concept of a "real man" so important to American society, but not that of a "real woman"? Is it because we think of manhood as something that is achieved and womanhood as something that consists of bleeding monthly?