Desires

This is going to be a bit long, so I've broken it into three sections: what I want for aces from the world, what I want for aces from aces, and what I want for me. They're in that order, since the third section is probably the least interesting to others. TW for acephobia and conversion attempts.

The World:
I want the world to be okay with asexuality. I don't want anyone else to have to go through electroshock in an attempt to "cure" them. I don't want anyone else to be told that they're broken or sick or sinful. I want the world to accept asexuality, and while we're at it, everyone else's sexual orientations and gender expressions, too.

I want visibility. I want asexual characters in Western visual media who aren't white, middle- or upper-class, brilliant, cold, socially awkward, men (or brilliant, sometimes-cold-and-socially-awkward aliens). Of the three well-known ace characters, two are frequently labelled as non-neurotypical and the third is described as a lonely god. I want asexual characters that don't reinforce the stereotype that being asexual makes you "weird," that only "weird" people are asexual. (Which is, of course, not to imply that there's anything wrong with being either non-neurotypical or "weird." However, I feel the current media representation is reinforcing the idea of a causal relationship that, for most aces, doesn't exist.)

I want education. I want people to stop conflating asexuality with celibacy or with lack of a sex drive. I want people to stop conflating "relationship" with "sexual and/or romantic relationship." I want people to stop conflating asexuality with asexual reproduction. I want not to have to explain asexuality to each new therapist I see.

The Ace Community:

I want us to find a way to embrace the wide diversity of aceness. I want us to not perpetuate the stereotype that being ace means not having or enjoying sex while supporting and including those aces who really aren't into sex at all, thank you very much. I want us to find more to talk about than cake. I want us to stop using the term "sexuals" and the ace triangle.

I want us to be able to undertake some of this education, and reach out to people who think they're broken or there's something wrong with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone say "I thought I was a freak, and then I discovered the concept of asexuality." I want us to help other people to that realization if it applies to them.

Myself:

I want stronger relationships. I feel like I am in a no-person's land where I don't know exactly where I am going in terms of intimacy. I want to make friends in the city to which I just moved, and I want to figure out where my existing strong friendships are going. I want to figure out what being in a partnership would look like, and if I want that (I suspect it would look very different with each potential partner). I want to figure out what being in a network of equally strong intimate relationships would be like, and which of those I want more. Basically I want to figure out how to navigate intimate relationships as an aromantic asexual.

Will any of this happen? Who knows. But at least, now, I have a map.